Self-management describes our ability to use the awareness of our emotions to actively choose what we say and do, regardless of the circumstances. If you have ever found yourself reacting to your emotions before you have had enough time to process the actual information - as I have at times - this article is for you.
Brain 101...
It is largely believed the pathway of our thoughts first travel through the Limbic system of our brains and then onto the Neo Cortex. While the Limbic pathway serves to preserve memory, it is also a place where emotions are associated with virtually everything we are exposed to: images, scents, habits, behaviors, motivation, and, ah yes, words.
The Neo Cortex part of our brain is largely responsible for processing higher thought functions such as sensory perception, motor commands, spatial reasoning, conscious thought, and language. Our thoughts are processed through the Neo Cortex, but only after they are vetted by the Limbic system and associated with an assigned emotional attachment. It is for this very reason we "automatically" associate various things (people, circumstances, objects, words, images) with an emotional attachment. What is physiologically designed to "help" us to remember by association can trigger a response that may not always be appropriate. If that is the case, we must recognize it and catch it early enough to control it until we can consciously change the association. The good news is that we can indeed change it.
Awareness is Essential
We are hard-wired to experience emotions first, leaving us hardly any time to logically process them. If you think about it, our lives run primarily on the emotions we have learned to associate with virtually everything we encounter. This programming is largely responsible for the relationships we have, from our most intimate to our most political. It's no wonder the world is in such a state of flux.
Self-management builds upon a foundational skill of self-awareness. Self-awareness is necessary because you can only choose how to actively respond to an emotion if you are aware of it. Awareness gives us a very slight but significant edge in beating emotion to the finish line of conclusion.
The Power to See...
There are subtle things you can do each and every day to influence what is happening just beneath the surface of your interactions with the people and the world around you. These subtleties can lead to a higher level of self-awareness that allow you to get out of your own way as you begin to see things as they are instead of how you've pre-programmed them to be.
When you understand your own emotions you begin to respond to them differently. You will begin seeing situations differently, allowing you to react differently to change. Relationships will change (improve) as you gain clarity through simple awareness.
Look, the sad fact is that most people are simply unaware of their emotions until after they have reacted. This leads only to discord, discontent, and regret. Why settle for that scenario when you can create a positive and productive alternative?
Don't be a victim of an emotional hijacking. Instead, be quick to recognize your emotions as something that is designed to create a pre-arranged mindset that may not always be accurate. Take a moment to breathe and recognize the signals of your emotions and then allow your logical, more rational mind to decide whether or not your emotions are painting an accurate picture of the scenario unfolding before you.
You can develop the ability to better recognize your emotions, allowing you to be more mindful of how they are influencing your behavior, now and into the future.
Until next time...
-G-
"Awareness is like the sun. When it shines upon things they are transformed."
~ Thich Nhat Hanh
FEAR Is a Thief is on Amazon.com and NOW AVAILABLE on Audible.com too! This inspiring book is the first in a self-empowerment series that is written to help people get past fear using five fundamental truths as a basis for understanding and taking action for a better life. Get your copy today at: FEAR Is a Thief/Amazon.
Also be sure to check out: KEY HORIZON, the second novel in the G. Weston spy series. This thriller is receiving rave reviews across the spectrum and has captivated a new following of "spy-fi" readers.
Get your copy of Westfal's first novel Dream Operative, an #1 Amazon.com Best-Seller!
Order your copy of these exciting novels today at Amazon.com.
For a comprehensive perspective on the diversity of Gary Westfal, please visit his website (www.gwestfal.com).
If you'd like to receive a notification anytime Gary publishes a new blog (currently about one per month), visit his Facebook page: G. Gary Westfal - Speaker,Writer
Once there, click on "Get Update via RSS" on the bottom left of the column. You'll be subscribed and will receive a notification anytime he publishes a new blog or provides updates. Please help Gary by recommending this blog to others and by "liking" his Facebook page. Let's push this deserving author to the top among the greats where he belongs.
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The journey to success requires a level of performance the likes of which dissuade most people, largely because of the time, sacrifice, and effort it takes to begin to see results.
Let's be honest, the journey to success requires certain things of us; determination, tenacity, and fortitude among them. Each of these aspects lends credence to our ability to perform. If we are determined to be the best, that performance has to be superior in order to set us apart from everyone else.
Superior performance requires determination, consistency, and hard work. In other words, it's not so much about what we are born with inasmuch as it is our resolve to do whatever it takes to achieve something. It is not an endeavor for the weak-minded, faint of heart, or impatient.
The development of the skills and habits of superior performance requires sacrifice, struggle, determination, and an honest self-assessment of what it is we truly desire in life. There are no shortcuts.
Your journey to success and superior performance will ask a lot of you, most often with grueling requirements that are beyond your current levels of expertise, stamina, or competency. Don't allow this to dissuade or frustrate you though because it is through determined practice that we learn and grow.
Success requires a sustained level of superior performance that requires practice...consistent, determined practice. This practice is not merely a repetitive practice, because let's face it, if your fundamental skills are inadequate and you consistently practice them, your skills will continue to be inadequate.
Determined practice is practice with a purpose. Determined practice is a meticulously structured and highly engaged practice designed to improve performance leading to the kind of success that only the most determined and dedicated ever truly achieve. This is not to say that most are unable to accomplish this level of success. It is to say, however, that most are unwilling.
Determined practice is deliberate and not always fun or enjoyable. Think about what it takes just to maintain an acceptable (not superior) healthy lifestyle - proper nutrition and consistent exercise...not always "fun" by any stretch of the imagination, but absolutely necessary to maintain a healthy balance. Look around you. How many people would you say display the kind of physique that represents a healthy lifestyle choice?
If we focus only on what it takes to achieve, then our state of mind will very often convince us the "work" is not worth the results we seek. However, if we want to acquire the skills of superior performance we must understand the principles of determined practice and learn how to make it a part of our daily lifestyle. We must shift our focus from what it costs to what it pays in terms of the results we seek. In other words, we must be willing to do what most others are not in order to attain something they never will.
I have discovered four steps that will not only propel you onto your objective of achievement but will also shape you into a superior performer - the kind of performer others aspire to but never truly achieve. Follow these steps and you'll begin to see changes take place you could never have imagined. Fair warning: these changes will come frustrating slow at first, but will each serve as an incremental step toward superior performance that will compound with consistency.
Four Steps
1. Motivation: We hear this term used so often that we almost turn a deaf ear when it is used. Despite that, however, it is an absolute essential element. You must be motivated to achieve an objective or, quite frankly, your plan will fail. Spend some time on this step. Take the time to understand your motivations. It is the essential "why" in your quest for achievement. Are you intimately familiar with why you want to achieve your goal? If not, get reacquainted with your motivations before moving on to the next step.
2. Accountability: We can have the best plan on the planet, but unless we're accountable to someone other than ourselves, we tend to find "reasons" (excuses) to stray from the rigid course we should be taking. One of the best sources to be accountable to is a mentor or coach. A mentor can not only hold us accountable but can provide an outside perspective and an unbiased analysis of our performance and progression. A mentor is also an excellent source of expertise if chosen wisely. Even the best among us have mentors or coaches. Who is your mentor or coach?
3. Tenacity: A focused determination is that trait that takes us into a zone of required effort (work) few dare to tread. Tenacity helps us look at a mountain and confidently convinces us with a nod and a wink that says, "We can do this!" It helps us ignore distractions, discomfort, and discontent. Tenacity propels us through temporary pain for permanent gain.
It is the psychological grit that carries us through the sweat and grime that keeps others on the couch, preferring instead to watch their favorite TV program or sportscast while they dream of "someday" or "luck." Finally, tenacity provides the last ounce of energy to follow through and cross the finish line of our plan.
4. Patience: It has long been said that patience is a virtue. The virtue of patience allows us to be tolerant of apparent slow progress, setbacks, failures, and learning opportunities. These things are inevitable and will cross the path of your intentions. However, patience allows us to see these things as temporary as we develop the skills it takes to overcome and perform superiorly. Patience imbues a quality that transforms our ability to see things others cannot. It changes us for the better and helps us to become rather than to be frustrated.
Patience pays dividends far beyond superior performance and helps us by revealing opportunities while helping us with timing. The insight and timing changes us physically, psychologically, and spiritually.
You too can have more, achieve more, and become more if you are willing to apply the steps of determined practice to your goals and aspirations. Keep in mind this is not something you try. Rather, it is something you embark upon with determination. So...be determined and get ready to enjoy the rewards of a superior performer!
Until next time...-G-
"In the private sanctuary of one's own conscience lies that spirit, that determination to cast off the old person, and to measure up to the stature of true potential."
~ Thomas S. Monson
FEAR Is a Thief is NOW AVAILABLE on Amazon.com. This inspiring book is the first in a self-empowerment series that is written to help people get past fear using five fundamental truths as a basis for understanding and taking action for a better life. Get your copy today at: FEAR Is a Thief/Amazon.
Also be sure to check out: KEY HORIZON, the second novel in the G. Weston spy series. This thriller is receiving rave reviews across the spectrum and has captivated a new following of "spy-fi" readers.
Get your copy of Westfal's first novel Dream Operative, an #1 Amazon.com Best-Seller!
Order your copy of these exciting novels today at Amazon.com.
For a comprehensive perspective on the diversity of Gary Westfal, please visit his website (www.gwestfal.com).
If you'd like to receive a notification anytime Gary publishes a new blog (currently about every two weeks), visit his Facebook page: G. Gary Westfal - Speaker,Writer
Once there, click on "Get Update via RSS" on the bottom left of the column. You'll be subscribed and will receive a notification anytime he publishes a new blog or provides updates. Please help Gary by recommending this blog to others and by "liking" his Facebook page. Let's push this deserving author to the top among the greats where he belongs.
Please help the author reach more people. If you enjoyed this article you can help by recommending it on Google by pressing the "g+1" button below...
If you have reached a point in your life where you're sick and tired of the status quo, then you are in a perfect position to implement change. If you're stuck in a perpetual cycle of getting the same results, no matter what you've tried, it may be time to finally take action and do something about it. Don't be consumed by what hasn't worked. In fact, you should celebrate knowing what hasn't worked because it serves as an indication that you're still in the game and are not about to waste any more time with unproductive efforts that yield little to no results.
Take a deep breath, step back, and take the time to gather perspective. As we take the time to reflect on our lives and examine the things that haven't worked to our satisfaction, we become more aware of our errors in judgment and more aware that each error really does matter. Errors matter because they provide insight to the things that are incongruent with our lives. Only then can we make the necessary adjustments that add value to our lives and place us back on a path to happiness.
The differences in the rules of success and failure are so subtle that it takes an aware mind to tell the difference. So how can we change the errors and miscalculations that have resulted in failure to a more positive formula of success? Simply by making the present moment more a part of our lives. Stepping into an awareness of the present moment brings clarity and perspective to the forefront. Having clarity allows us to discover our purpose and provides a perspective that is nearly impossible to obtain otherwise.
One of the most exciting aspects of the formula for success and happiness is that the results are immediate. Yes, immediate! As we change or realign our daily beliefs and behaviors, we begin to experience positive and empowering results immediately. These results are often difficult to recognize at first...unless you are ready to recognize them. Half the battle in recognizing the changes is to be in a state of true readiness and expectation. If you are in a state of readiness and expectation, your awareness is operating at peak performance and you will simply recognize things easier. By the way, it's OK to expect good things to come to you. Remember, however, the messages you send out will return to you (very often in overwhelming abundance), so you should expect the return. My only caution is to be very aware of the kinds of messages you are sending, as your return will be very much the same as the messages you send forth. The old adage of "Be careful what you wish for," applies here.
All too often we believe that, in order to experience significant changes in our lives, we must implement radical behavioral and mindset changes. While radical changes may indeed result in some change, they typically don't yield the results we seek in terms of a lasting and positive transformation. It is the subtle changes that typically yield the best and most lasting results. These changes come in the form of new disciplines we must be ready and willing to adopt in order to escape the bonds of our current circumstances.
The magic of new disciplines is that they cause us to shift our thinking in ways that transform us. Think about the new disciplines your life is calling you to make. If you truly recognize them you will see that the changes your life is calling for are not unrealistic and are often small changes (shifts) that will lead to huge differences in the results you are used to getting.
Here's a practical exercise you can do that demonstrates my point: Begin with a subtle change in your posture. Instead of walking into work tomorrow in your typical tired manner, try to consciously change the position of your posture. Stand just a bit taller, lift your chin ever so slightly, smile, make eye contact, and breathe a bit deeper. You won't even have to say anything different and people will notice. The most important aspect of this exercise is that you will notice. And you will immediately feel better about yourself. This is an immediate change that will empower you and compel you to seek other subtle ways in which to change the course of your life. Who knows, it could actually be The Change You Desire.
Until next time...
-G-
"Recognizing that you are not where you wish to be is a starting point to begin changing your life."
~ Deborah Day
We're proud to announce Gary's next book, set to be released very soon. FEAR is a Thief is the first in a self-empowerment series that is written to help people get past fear using five fundamental truths as a basis for understanding and taking action for a better life.
Also be sure to check out: KEY HORIZON, the second novel in the G. Weston spy series. This thriller is receiving rave reviews across the spectrum and has captivated a new following of "spy-fi" readers.
Get your copy of Westfal's first novel Dream Operative, an #1 Amazon.com Best-Seller!
Order your copy of these exciting novels today at Amazon.com.
For a comprehensive perspective on the diversity of Gary Westfal, please visit his website (www.gwestfal.com).
If you'd like to receive a notification anytime Gary publishes a new blog (currently about every two weeks), visit his Facebook page: G. Gary Westfal - Speaker,Writer
Once there, click on "Get Update via RSS" on the bottom left of the column. You'll be subscribed and will receive a notification anytime he publishes a new blog or provides updates. Please help Gary by recommending this blog to others and by "liking" his Facebook page. Let's push this deserving author to the top among the greats where he belongs.
Please help the author reach more people. If you enjoyed this article you can help by recommending it on Google by pressing the "g+1" button below...
My youngest daughter is finishing her final college course this week. I couldn't be more proud. Typically, the news wouldn't be all that extraordinary. After all, people complete degree programs all the time.
So what makes her so special, aside from the fact that she's my daughter and I get to select the content of my writing? For starters, her achievement exemplifies the things we can all accomplish if we will just look beyond our circumstances and allow the power of our vision to carry us to the finish line of success. The fact that we finish anything in our society anymore is fast becoming an anomaly. The distractions alone are often enough to derail even the most determined among us.
My daughter is in her mid-thirties—well beyond an age where an undergraduate degree is expected to be conferred. In fact, just thirty-two percent of Americans have successfully earned their bachelor's degree. The percentages are even less for those over the age of 26. Add to this statistic the number of recipients whose lives were disrupted and the number drops even lower. Of course, the definition of "disruption" is rather vague and does little to cull the data in order to provide any measurable value. Suffice it to say, however, any amount of disruption typically places significant stressors in the form of obstacles onto the path of just about any goal or objective.
The first word that comes to mind when I think of my daughter's journey is tenacity. Tenacity defines a quality of persistence and extraordinary determination to finish what we have started. The definition does not account for persistence and determination under extraordinary circumstance, rather, it leads the reader to infer typical disruptive circumstances. Her circumstances, however, were far from typical. Her circumstances required her to call upon a great deal of tenacity to complete her objective. Her circumstances required her vision to be so compelling that nothing would get in the way of accomplishment. Her circumstances had given her plenty of reasons to lay aside her dream of earning a college degree when she received a cancer diagnosis half-way through the degree program. It was a devastating blow to the momentum she had created, earning an incredible 4.0 grade point average to that point in her journey.
We all watched as she absorbed the cancer diagnosis, wondering how she would allow the circumstance to change her. It didn't. After absorbing the news, she quickly got back to work, seeking treatment while continuing her education, refusing to allow circumstance to steal her dream. To add literal insult to injury, about a year after her diagnosis, her husband was brutally attacked and hospitalized, putting him out of work for an extended—and very unexpected—period of time. The sole source of income now disrupted, she took it upon herself to find ways to make it through until his recovery. Friends and family rallied, all the while, watching and wondering how she would handle the next circumstance.
Without so much as a pause or second thought, she would return to her studies each and every time. Why would someone do that? I smile as I write this because, even as I watched my daughter struggle through the decisions she had to make for her life, I knew exactly why she reacted the way she did. I smile because it is a rare moment when we are aware enough to witness change taking place in our children as it actually happens. Her refusal to allow circumstance to define her had reached a point of indignant intolerance. In other words, she was finished allowing circumstance to define her and had made a conscious decision to dig in deep, even in the midst of adversity, drama, and distraction.
We can learn a lot from the actions of people like my daughter. The circumstances I highlighted are but a few of the major ones she dealt with while in pursuit of a dream. I'd be remiss if I didn't mention how she managed all of these circumstances while raising three children, one of whom is mildly autistic. Superwoman? No. Driven? Absolutely! Hers is an example we can all take a lesson from when we are faced with inevitable obstacles that come along and test just how much we desire to reach a goal.
There are a lot of people who are quick to declare what it is they want out of life—we all know them—but far too few who take persistent and calculated action to accomplishment. The realization of our dreams lie just outside the border of our grasp. But there's a formula to realizing our dreams, and unless we follow the formula, we can dream all we want and never taste the sweetness of victory and achievement.
The Formula: The 3Ds
Dreams, Decisions, and Determination
- Your Dreams define your vision, goal, or objective. Your roadmap for success is driven by your Dream.
- Your Decisions are a catalyst in defining how you re-construct your lifestyle to meet the course you should be on while in pursuit of your objective. Make no mistake; a lifestyle adjustment will be in order as you allow your dreams to take over and drive the tempo of your desired life.
- Your Determination is the one factor that will make or break your ability to dig in when you feel like quitting. Determination defines those who do among those who don't, or those who won't. Determination defines an attitude you adopt when you refuse to allow anything to get in the way of your dream.
The formula, on its surface, seems simple. But don't let it fool you. If it was easy, everyone would be successful. No, success is hard. It will call upon you to change your lifestyle, re-prioritize what is important in your life, re-define relationships, and form new rituals and habits. But...it is all worth it, as my daughter will attest.
What are you in pursuit of? Have you declared your vision, dream, or goal and followed it with action? Are your decisions supporting your dreams? How are you handling the obstacles and distractions? Are you determined to cross the finish line, no matter what? Follow a good example. Learn from my daughter's story or anyone whom you can look to for inspiration. And know, with a doubt, that you too can achieve your dreams.
Finish Strong!
Until next time...
-G-
"Imagine with all of your mind. Believe with all of your heart. Achieve with all of your might."
~ Unknown
We're proud to announce Gary's next book, set to be released very soon. FEAR is a Thief is the first in a self-empowerment series that is written to help people get past fear using five fundamental truths as a basis for understanding and taking action for a better life.
Also be sure to check out: KEY HORIZON, the second novel in the G. Weston spy series. This thriller is receiving rave reviews across the spectrum and has captivated a new following of "spy-fi" readers.
Get your copy of Westfal's first novel Dream Operative, an #1 Amazon Best-Seller!
Order your copy of these exciting novels today at Amazon.com.
For a comprehensive perspective on the diversity of Gary Westfal, please visit his website (www.gwestfal.com).
If you'd like to receive a notification anytime Gary publishes a new blog (currently about every two weeks), visit his Facebook page: G. Gary Westfal - Speaker,Writer
Once there, click on "Get Update via RSS" on the bottom left of the column. You'll be subscribed and will receive a notification anytime he publishes a new blog or provides updates. Please help Gary by recommending this blog to others and by "liking" his Facebook page. Let's push this deserving author to the top among the greats where he belongs.
Please help the author reach more people. If you enjoyed this article you can help by recommending it on Google by pressing the "g+1" button below...
