In my last post I wrote about how I had often wondered what made the difference between those who are successful and those who are not. I explained that whether we achieve success to any great degree depends largely upon three basic principles I call the Triple-S: our Strategy; our Story, and our State. This week's post will focus on our Story.
Very often, those who have achieved success have experienced a breakthrough of sorts. When we hear this it resonates because that seems to be exactly what we're looking for: a breakthrough that will lead us to the holy grail of success. Our quest however, begs the question on exactly what sort of breakthrough we're actually looking for.
Each of us has a personal narrative—a story—that we consistently tell ourselves we must fulfill in order to have an ideal life leading to happiness. For example, we may believe that an ideal life is defined by going to college, graduating, landing a great job, finding the perfect mate, living in a specific home in a specific neighborhood, having and raising x-number of children, and living happily ever after.
Your story is likely different from the one I just described, especially given the multitude of options and differences in ideals among people. But one thing has remained the same—many people believe that in order for life to matter, they must achieve a great deal for life to equate to happiness.
Far too many of us have been conditioned to connect the elements (people, places, job, circumstances) and the progress of our story to how it affects our happiness. And that's all well and good until our lives don't align with the story we have written or envisioned.
The way each of us frames reality is diverse and unique.
We interpret our experiences through the lens of our psychology, which forms the
basis of our story. Everything matters—from the history of our experiences to
our gender and cultural differences. We form attitudes, opinions and hopes that
shape what we consider to be realistic, morally acceptable, and noteworthy. We predicate our goals and ideals upon these elements and systematically use them to write our story.
Think about a time or circumstance where you were absolutely happy, joyous, or thrilled with life. Chances are it was because your circumstances met or exceeded the story narrative you have with that aspect of your life.
Now think of a time or circumstance where you were absolutely miserable. Can you guess why you were miserable?
When our conditions don't match the story we have written for our lives, we will have pain. When this occurs, there are three choices we can make.
1. Blame something or someone
2. Change our story
3. Change our life
Blaming something or someone has little utility beyond the satisfaction of a temporary and regrettable reaction to an outlet we'd be best advised to avoid. There is no personal growth potential or benefit whatsoever with this misguided approach.
The latter two options have some viability when we consider that we may in fact be unable or unwilling to meet the ideal of what we have adopted as the story we have written for our lives. If this is the case, then perhaps it's time to change our story. There's no shame in taking this approach because happiness is personally defined by a congruence with our story. Changing that story is one approach to realigning our story to match our life.
On the other hand, if you know there are areas of your life that you have the power and willingness to change in order to meet the narrative of your story then you should do precisely that—change your life. Doing so will empower you and re-shape the conditions and circumstances that begin to meet your story.
As the experiences of your life lead you toward the narrative of your story, your ideal of success will be "naturally" attracted to you.
What are some of the ways you can change your life to meet or exceed the story narrative you have written?
One alternative to consider that a lot of people take is to change some of your story and some of your life to find the happiness and contentment you seek. This hybrid approach is often referred to as "an adjustment" that many people make as they grow in knowledge and wisdom in their pursuit of success and happiness.
Part I of the Triple S centered on Strategy. While having a sound strategy is indeed a wise thing, it should be noted that strategies by themselves don't change lives, implementation does. Most people don't implement effectively (or at all) because their story narrative doesn't support action.
I'm sure you've heard some of the more common story narratives before: "I've tried everything and it just won't work." "That only happens in the movies." "You have to have money to make money." "I just don't have time for..." You should divorce these story narratives at once! Instead, find someone who has achieved what you wish to achieve and change your story. Find out what they believe and adopt a similar mindset. I think you'll find that it's refreshingly different from what you believe.
What about you? What's your story? Does your story support the life you're leading? If so, great! If not, why not? What can you do to change things?
By the way, trying to change your story can be difficult if you don't also change your State. Want to know how? Then stay tuned for Part III when we'll take a look at the role Your State plays in the Triple-S process.
Until next time...
-G-
"You have the power to write your own destiny."
~ G. Westfal
We're proud to announce Gary's next book, set to be released this year. FEAR is a Thief is the first in a self-empowerment series that is written to help people get past fear using five fundamental truths as a basis for understanding and taking action for a better life.
Also be sure to check out: KEY HORIZON, the second novel in the G. Weston spy series. This thriller is receiving rave reviews across the spectrum and has captivated a new following of "spy-fi" readers.
Get your copy of Westfal's first novel Dream Operative.
Order your copy of these exciting novels today at Amazon.com.
For a comprehensive perspective on the diversity of Gary Westfal, please visit his website (www.gwestfal.com).
If you'd like to receive a notification anytime Gary publishes a new blog (currently about every two weeks), visit his Facebook page: G. Gary Westfal - Speaker,Writer
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I often wondered what made the difference between those who are successful and those who are not. By "successful" I mean those who seem to be able to achieve most anything they set their mind to in order to bring about quantifiable outcomes—results. As I took a deeper look I began to understand that outcomes are driven by forces, not all of which are readily apparent. So I began looking at things from the inside-out, which was more of an intuitive move on my part than anything else. Turns out, there was more to my instincts than I first realized.
Results, I discovered, are typically materialized by the law of cause and effect. The effect, in this case, is tied directly to the achievement of success in whatever form we can imagine or readily define. The cause is the culmination of everything we must do in order to achieve the effect.
I learned that one compelling reason we do anything is tied directly to why we do it. The why is driven by emotions and is closely connected to the level of effort we're willing to put forth to attain pleasure or avoid pain.
Whether we achieve success to any great degree depends largely upon three basic principles I call the Triple-S: our Strategy; our Story, and our State. Each deserves some elaboration, so I've decided to dedicate the next couple of posts to focus on each one, beginning with strategy.
Strategy
I've written extensively on the importance of having a plan for success. Our plan is driven by the strategy we employ to achieve our objectives. Without a strategy to support our vision, dream, goal, destination, or objective, there is no point in taking any action whatsoever, else we find ourselves running off in random directions essentially achieving little more than frustration.
Unfortunately, most people stop just after the vision part and, all too often, fail to enact any kind of strategy to put their vision on a map and get started with the process of achievement and the pursuit of success. Without a strategy, all that essentially exists is a dream or a vision, which is a vital part of the process. But a dream or vision by itself does little more than create a fleeting fantasy that reinforces the notion that dreams can never really be achieved. Don't buy it for one second!
As an air traffic controller I would meticulously examine the flight plan of each and every aircraft that was under my control. The flight plan defines the pilot's intended course of action—the strategy—designed to reach an objective, in this case, the intended destination. Success in aviation is defined as the safe and uneventful journey of an aircraft from takeoff to touchdown. In life, success is defined by an achievement of some kind. We set a course by clearly defining our destination and by following a strategy to reach that objective.
The strength and reliability of our strategy rests upon our convictions. (There's that "why" again.) It goes without saying that if we are driven to achieve something and if we want it bad enough, we'll find the right strategy. There is no better illustration of this than the dichotomy of the two opposing groups (those who are successful and those who are not).
The success of our strategy rests upon our daily rituals or behaviors. If our rituals don't support our strategy we'll never make it to our objective. Our rituals include all of the obligations, distractions, habits and routines we use to define the construct of our lives.
My curiosity to discover the differences between the two groups led to my own transformation as I began to make changes in my rituals. The differences were subtle at first but significant nonetheless. The significance eventually turned into what my wife likes to call "critical mass" or what I call "terminal velocity." Each of these terms relate to how small changes in behavior or strategy eventually reaches a tipping point of profound momentum, the likes of which produce amazing life-changing results!
Do your rituals support your strategy? If not, are you ready to do whatever it takes to get off the path you're on and start seeing real results? Start by taking a serious look at how you define your life and whether or not your rituals are really helping you to reach your objectives.
Where can you make small changes that will result in life-changing momentum in your strategy? Should you read more? Should you watch less television or get up earlier? If you look close enough you'll see the areas you can change to affect a significant transformation in reaching success. Your only job at that point will be to react to the changes you need to make.
So what's stopping you? Uncertainty? Fear? Great news—those are merely illusionary gates you must walk through. They're in place to separate you from the unaware and uninformed (people). How's that for a bit of encouragement? You can be different. You can be great. You can achieve it all if you'll take a good honest look at your strategy.
To recap...
1. Determine your why
2. Plug into the emotional power of your why
3. Create a strategy
4. Change your rituals to ensure the execution of your strategy
Until next time when we'll take a look at Your Story...
-G-
"Greatness is not where we stand but what direction we are moving."
~ Oliver Wendell Holmes
We're proud to announce Gary's next book, set to be released this year. FEAR is a Thief is the first in a self-empowerment series that is written to help people get past fear using five fundamental truths as a basis for understanding and taking action for a better life.
Also be sure to check out: KEY HORIZON, the second novel in the G. Weston spy series. This thriller is receiving rave reviews across the spectrum and has captivated a new following of "spy-fi" readers.
Get your copy of Westfal's first novel Dream Operative.
Order your copy of these exciting novels today at Amazon.com.
For a comprehensive perspective on the diversity of Gary Westfal, please visit his website (www.gwestfal.com).
If you'd like to receive a notification anytime Gary publishes a new blog (currently about every two weeks), visit his Facebook page: G. Gary Westfal, Writer, Artist Educator.
Once there, click on "Get Update via RSS" on the bottom left of the column. You'll be subscribed and will receive a notification anytime he publishes a new blog or provides updates. Please help Gary by recommending this blog to others and by "liking" his Facebook page. Let's push this deserving author to the top among the greats where he belongs.
Please help the author reach more people. If you enjoyed this article you can help by recommending it on Google by pressing the "g+1" button below...
Very often, those who have achieved success have experienced a breakthrough of sorts. When we hear this it resonates because that seems to be exactly what we're looking for: a breakthrough that will lead us to the holy grail of success. Our quest however, begs the question on exactly what sort of breakthrough we're actually looking for. 
