Ten (Limiting) Stories We Tell Ourselves

1. I never succeed at anything.

2. It’s just the way I was raised.

3. I’m not happy because life isn’t fair.

4. I don’t ever make the right decisions in life.

5. I'm damaged goods; I've been through so much!

6. I’m too old. The course of my life is destined to be what it is.

7. I don’t have the talent or skills. Even if I try, I'll probably fail.

8. I'm not smart (talented, brave, handsome, pretty, or worthy…) 

9. It takes money to make money. And I don’t have that kind of money.

10. I can't change because it seems I always find a way to mess things up.

You don’t have to buy into the limiting stories you’ve been telling yourself. They may seem like facts, but they are actually just circumstances that have developed to support the narrative of your self-professed story. When you change the narrative of your story, an amazing thing begins to happen – you begin to change the very course of your life. And the circumstances have no choice but to follow the new narrative. 

As your circumstances change, so too does your perspective.  Your perspective drives your thoughts, beliefs, and actions. When your perspective changes, you develop a fresh new outlook that opens the door to all kinds of goodness to flow into your life. 

You have the power to release your stories whenever you decide you’re tired of believing them. You have the power to rewrite them at will. All you have to do is draw a line in the sand and start writing the narrative you desire and know you deserve.

Let’s devote a thought or two to just a couple of these limiting beliefs. As we do, I think you’ll begin to see two things emerge: 1. You are the author of your story and, 2. you have the power to edit that story any time you wish. 

1.  “I never succeed at anything.”

This statement reflects a closed mind that has accepted defeat. Success is defined as the slow and steady progress toward a worthy goal. It is not defined as the surface trappings of life we typically see in social media every day. Take a good look at all areas of your life and acknowledge the progress you are making. It’s there if you look for it. When you find it, you’ll see you are indeed succeeding at something. Claim that success and own it! Then, simply change the narrative of your story from “I never…” to “I am…”

2.  “It’s just the way I was raised.”

You are an individual capable of writing your own story. It’s true your family handbook was a strong influence in creating your fundamental beliefs, but there comes a time when you must carefully select what you wish to adopt from that influential source to develop your own story. Don’t ever think you must use this limiting statement to justify who you truly are. Listen closely and you will hear your own calling. Use what you hear as a brand-new foundation to write your own empowering story.

3.  “I’m not happy because life isn’t fair.”

As an author, I can tell you that the manner in which you frame a sentence or statement matters. Consider the above sentence in its current state. The sentiment is one of discontent and defeat. With a simple rearrangement of the words, we can change the entire dynamic to one that reflects the real truth. “Life isn’t fair, so I’m not happy.” Once we see the truth of the matter, we gain power over it and can actually do something about it. Guess what? Life isn’t fair. So, now that we know the truth, we gain insight into knowing our happiness should never be tied to the fact that life isn’t fair. 

4.  “I don’t ever make the right decisions in life.” 

This is a statement of absolution that is likely more reflective of a lack of self-confidence than a statement of fact. In other words, it’s an excuse and an exaggeration. Decision-making is part of our everyday lives that has consequences. Make the wrong dietary choice and you could gain too much weight, get sick, or even worse. Drive your car through a red traffic signal and it could have catastrophic consequences. If this kind of statement is part of your narrative, I would point out that you are likely not focusing on the right decisions you are making. Build your new narrative on the good choices you’re making and more of the same will follow. 

5.  “I’m damaged goods. I’ve been through so much.”

No one on this earth knows what you’ve been through in life quite like you. Your circumstances are unique and have no doubt shaped your beliefs and values. Therein lies the limit of your situation, however. To be clear, you are not alone in having “been through so much” in life. The difference between those who lean on this belief and those who don’t is quite amazing actually. There are two mindsets at play here. While one side embraces difficult circumstance as a Scarlett Letter they must bear because of the past, the other side refuses to accept the narrative in spite of past circumstance. You have a choice. You always have a choice. Just because someone rejected you or something went wrong in your life, does not mean you must edit your story to a self-deprecating narrative. Trust me, there is much more goodness in store for you if you will just believe that you deserve it. 

Interested in taking a deeper look at the next five on the list? Let me know by leaving a comment or reaching out to me directly. 

Until next time…

~ G ~

“Stories are the shortest distance between us and truth. So, when we understand and uncover these stories, we gain the opportunity to understand maybe we need a new story.” 
~ Chris Cade

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The Change You Desire...

If you have reached a point in your life where you're sick and tired of the status quo, then you are in a perfect position to implement change. If you're stuck in a perpetual cycle of getting the same results, no matter what you've tried, it may be time to finally take action and do something about it. Don't be consumed by what hasn't worked. In fact, you should celebrate knowing what hasn't worked because it serves as an indication that you're still in the game and are not about to waste any more time with unproductive efforts that yield little to no results.

Take a deep breath, step back, and take the time to gather perspective. As we take the time to reflect on our lives and examine the things that haven't worked to our satisfaction, we become more aware of our errors in judgment and more aware that each error really does matter. Errors matter because they provide insight to the things that are incongruent with our lives. Only then can we make the necessary adjustments that add value to our lives and place us back on a path to happiness.

The differences in the rules of success and failure are so subtle that it takes an aware mind to tell the difference. So how can we change the errors and miscalculations that have resulted in failure to a more positive formula of success? Simply by making the present moment more a part of our lives. Stepping into an awareness of the present moment brings clarity and perspective to the forefront. Having clarity allows us to discover our purpose and provides a perspective that is nearly impossible to obtain otherwise.

One of the most exciting aspects of the formula for success and happiness is that the results are immediate. Yes, immediate! As we change or realign our daily beliefs and behaviors, we begin to experience positive and empowering results immediately. These results are often difficult to recognize at first...unless you are ready to recognize them. Half the battle in recognizing the changes is to be in a state of true readiness and expectation. If you are in a state of readiness and expectation, your awareness is operating at peak performance and you will simply recognize things easier. By the way, it's OK to expect good things to come to you. Remember, however, the messages you send out will return to you (very often in overwhelming abundance), so you should expect the return. My only caution is to be very aware of the kinds of messages you are sending, as your return will be very much the same as the messages you send forth. The old adage of "Be careful what you wish for," applies here.

All too often we believe that, in order to experience significant changes in our lives, we must implement radical behavioral and mindset changes. While radical changes may indeed result in some change, they typically don't yield the results we seek in terms of a lasting and positive transformation. It is the subtle changes that typically yield the best and most lasting results. These changes come in the form of new disciplines we must be ready and willing to adopt in order to escape the bonds of our current circumstances.

The magic of new disciplines is that they cause us to shift our thinking in ways that transform us. Think about the new disciplines your life is calling you to make. If you truly recognize them you will see that the changes your life is calling for are not unrealistic and are often small changes (shifts) that will lead to huge differences in the results you are used to getting.

Here's a practical exercise you can do that demonstrates my point: Begin with a subtle change in your posture. Instead of walking into work tomorrow in your typical tired manner, try to consciously change the position of your posture. Stand just a bit taller, lift your chin ever so slightly, smile, make eye contact, and breathe a bit deeper. You won't even have to say anything different and people will notice. The most important aspect of this exercise is that you will notice. And you will immediately feel better about yourself. This is an immediate change that will empower you and compel you to seek other subtle ways in which to change the course of your life. Who knows, it could actually be The Change You Desire.

Until next time...
-G-


"Recognizing that you are not where you wish to be is a starting point to begin changing your life."    
                                   
~ Deborah Day


We're proud to announce Gary's next book, set to be released very soon. FEAR is a Thief is the first in a self-empowerment series that is written to help people get past fear using five fundamental truths as a basis for understanding and taking action for a better life.

Also be sure to check out: KEY HORIZON, the second novel in the G. Weston spy series. This thriller is receiving rave reviews across the spectrum and has captivated a new following of "spy-fi" readers. 

Get your copy of Westfal's first novel Dream Operative, an #1 Amazon.com Best-Seller!

Order your copy of these exciting novels today at Amazon.com.

For a comprehensive perspective on the diversity of Gary Westfal, please visit his website (www.gwestfal.com).
 
If you'd like to receive a notification anytime Gary publishes a new blog (currently about every two weeks), visit his Facebook page: G. Gary Westfal - Speaker,Writer

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3D Tenacity

My youngest daughter is finishing her final college course this week. I couldn't be more proud. Typically, the news wouldn't be all that extraordinary. After all, people complete degree programs all the time.

So what makes her so special, aside from the fact that she's my daughter and I get to select the content of my writing? For starters, her achievement exemplifies the things we can all accomplish if we will just look beyond our circumstances and allow the power of our vision to carry us to the finish line of success. The fact that we finish anything in our society anymore is fast becoming an anomaly. The distractions alone are often enough to derail even the most determined among us.

My daughter is in her mid-thirties—well beyond an age where an undergraduate degree is expected to be conferred. In fact, just thirty-two percent of Americans have successfully earned their bachelor's degree. The percentages are even less for those over the age of 26. Add to this statistic the number of recipients whose lives were disrupted and the number drops even lower. Of course, the definition of "disruption" is rather vague and does little to cull the data in order to provide any measurable value. Suffice it to say, however, any amount of disruption typically places significant stressors in the form of obstacles onto the path of just about any goal or objective.

The first word that comes to mind when I think of my daughter's journey is tenacity. Tenacity defines a quality of persistence and extraordinary determination to finish what we have started. The definition does not account for persistence and determination under extraordinary circumstance, rather, it leads the reader to infer typical disruptive circumstances. Her circumstances, however, were far from typical. Her circumstances required her to call upon a great deal of tenacity to complete her objective. Her circumstances required her vision to be so compelling that nothing would get in the way of accomplishment. Her circumstances had given her plenty of reasons to lay aside her dream of earning a college degree when she received a cancer diagnosis half-way through the degree program. It was a devastating blow to the momentum she had created, earning an incredible 4.0 grade point average to that point in her journey.

We all watched as she absorbed the cancer diagnosis, wondering how she would allow the circumstance to change her. It didn't. After absorbing the news, she quickly got back to work, seeking treatment while continuing her education, refusing to allow circumstance to steal her dream. To add literal insult to injury, about a year after her diagnosis, her husband was brutally attacked and hospitalized, putting him out of work for an extended—and very unexpected—period of time. The sole source of income now disrupted, she took it upon herself to find ways to make it through until his recovery. Friends and family rallied, all the while, watching and wondering how she would handle the next circumstance.

Without so much as a pause or second thought, she would return to her studies each and every time. Why would someone do that? I smile as I write this because, even as I watched my daughter struggle through the decisions she had to make for her life, I knew exactly why she reacted the way she did. I smile because it is a rare moment when we are aware enough to witness change taking place in our children as it actually happens. Her refusal to allow circumstance to define her had reached a point of indignant intolerance. In other words, she was finished allowing circumstance to define her and had made a conscious decision to dig in deep, even in the midst of adversity, drama, and distraction.

We can learn a lot from the actions of people like my daughter. The circumstances I highlighted are but a few of the major ones she dealt with while in pursuit of a dream. I'd be remiss if I didn't mention how she managed all of these circumstances while raising three children, one of whom is mildly autistic. Superwoman? No. Driven? Absolutely! Hers is an example we can all take a lesson from when we are faced with inevitable obstacles that come along and test just how much we desire to reach a goal.

There are a lot of people who are quick to declare what it is they want out of life—we all know them—but far too few who take persistent and calculated action to accomplishment. The realization of our dreams lie just outside the border of our grasp. But there's a formula to realizing our dreams, and unless we follow the formula, we can dream all we want and never taste the sweetness of victory and achievement.

The Formula: The 3Ds

Dreams, Decisions, and Determination

• Your Dreams define your vision, goal, or objective. Your roadmap for success is driven by your Dream.

• Your Decisions are a catalyst in defining how you re-construct your lifestyle to meet the course you should be on while in pursuit of your objective. Make no mistake; a lifestyle adjustment will be in order as you allow your dreams to take over and drive the tempo of your desired life.

• Your Determination is the one factor that will make or break your ability to dig in when you feel like quitting. Determination defines those who do among those who don't, or those who won't. Determination defines an attitude you adopt when you refuse to allow anything to get in the way of your dream.

The formula, on its surface, seems simple. But don't let it fool you. If it was easy, everyone would be successful. No, success is hard. It will call upon you to change your lifestyle, re-prioritize what is important in your life, re-define relationships, and form new rituals and habits. But...it is all worth it, as my daughter will attest.

What are you in pursuit of? Have you declared your vision, dream, or goal and followed it with action? Are your decisions supporting your dreams? How are you handling the obstacles and distractions? Are you determined to cross the finish line, no matter what? Follow a good example. Learn from my daughter's story or anyone whom you can look to for inspiration. And know, with a doubt, that you too can achieve your dreams.

Finish Strong!

Until next time...

-G-


"Imagine with all of your mind. Believe with all of your heart. Achieve with all of your might."
                                                                                  
~ Unknown


We're proud to announce Gary's next book, set to be released very soon. FEAR is a Thief is the first in a self-empowerment series that is written to help people get past fear using five fundamental truths as a basis for understanding and taking action for a better life.

Also be sure to check out: KEY HORIZON, the second novel in the G. Weston spy series. This thriller is receiving rave reviews across the spectrum and has captivated a new following of "spy-fi" readers. 

Get your copy of Westfal's first novel Dream Operative, an #1 Amazon Best-Seller!

Order your copy of these exciting novels today at Amazon.com.

For a comprehensive perspective on the diversity of Gary Westfal, please visit his website (www.gwestfal.com).
 
If you'd like to receive a notification anytime Gary publishes a new blog (currently about every two weeks), visit his Facebook page: G. Gary Westfal - Speaker,Writer

Once there, click on "Get Update via RSS" on the bottom left of the column. You'll be subscribed and will receive a notification anytime he publishes a new blog or provides updates. Please help Gary by recommending this blog to others and by "liking" his Facebook page. Let's push this deserving author to the top among the greats where he belongs.

Please help the author reach more people. If you enjoyed this article you can help by recommending it on Google by pressing the "g+1" button below...