You Are the Message

The amount of time it takes you to read this first sentence is all the time you have to make a first impression on someone new. Seven seconds. That's it. Time's up.

We formulate judgments and opinions of each other so fast that we rarely have time to think about the significance of our processing. Think about the last time you met someone new. How did you feel even before the other person uttered their first word? Was your initial intuition confirmed when they spoke to you or did you misjudge? Did they make eye contact with you as they approached? What did you think of their demeanor, their posture, their gestures, and the tone and delivery of their words? What judgments did you make based on their appearance? Did they "exude" a commanding presence or an unenviable timidity?

Whatever you may have been feeling as you spent those precious first seven seconds coming to your initial conclusion, something else was taking place at the very same time—You were also being analyzed.
 

Human interaction is an amazing concept of study. While most of us tend to see ourselves cast in a favorable light that others must surely see, we rarely consider the alternative perspective others really have of us. Why is that? One reason is simply based on the fact that we're so busy analyzing others that we fail to consider that we too are being analyzed. The other, more often overlooked reason is that every one of us have "hidden windows" or areas that we simply cannot see or are not yet aware of.

Based on the psychological concept of the Johari Window, the theory uses the Johari House, with four windows leading to corresponding rooms. Each room metaphorically represents a part of who we are with respect to our personality, mannerisms, and the interpersonal energy we convey to others as well as the level of awareness and insight we, and others, have upon each area.

Room 1 is that part of ourselves we see and others see.
Room 2 contains the elements that others see but we are not (yet) aware of.
Room 3 is the most mysterious room in that the subconscious part of us is seen by neither ourselves nor others.
Room 4 is our private space, which we know but keep hidden from others.

Knowing that you have areas you cannot see, for one reason or another, is significant in that you are unable to see yourself in the totality of how you are perceived by others. While you may consider yourself to be considerate and open-minded, others may see you as an arrogant know-it-all. This typically occurs when others detect a mismatch in your delivery and your words, for example. It therefore goes to show that we must continually take steps to discover the truth of who we are if we intend to project an accurate reflection of who (and how) we wish to be considered.

One of the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves is to seek, find, and apply truth in our life. Aligning ourselves with truth permits a better person to emerge from within. One of the best ways to accomplish this is through introspection—that is, being honest with ourselves about what we know and don't know. Pay careful attention to how others react when you're around. Confide in someone you can trust to give you an honest assessment of what they see that you cannot. Be careful not to overreact to the honesty of your trusted confidant and be prepared to accept the changes you must make. These changes will most likely lead to improvements you need to hear and will make it easier to cast a better impression upon yourself.

The impression you make upon others is an integral part of human interaction. The process of conveying an accurate impression is not merely limited to the words we select. While dialogue, tone and delivery are important, they are by no means the only aspects of communication that matter. We communicate with our entire being whether we care to admit it or not. We send signals or convey messages with every conceivable aspect of ourselves. Eye contact, gestures and mannerisms, posture, personal appearance—they are all considered in the amazingly fast seven-second analogy of an initial encounter.
Consider these aspects of human interaction as you look for ways to improve your chances of an accurate analysis (and a positive impression) by others when you meet for the first time:

• Optimism
• Eye Contact
• Comfort Level
• Active Listening
• Gestures
• Physical Space and Contact

These aspects are but a few of the elements that make a clear difference in how you are received, or subtlety rejected, in the First Seven Seconds. Think about the differences in the message you have been conveying against the message you wish to convey from this point forward. The time you spend making subtle changes may be worth the introspection.

Until next time!

-G-

                                                                                                                                          


Just released: KEY HORIZON the second novel in the G. Weston spy series.
Get your copy of my first novel Dream Operative.

Visit my website (www.gwestfal.com) or Amazon.com and order your copy of these exciting novels today!

If you'd like to receive a notification anytime I publish a new blog (currently about every two weeks), visit my Facebook page: G. Gary Westfal, Writer, Artist Educator

Once there, click on "Get Update via RSS" on the bottom left of the column. You'll be subscribed and will receive a notification anytime I publish a new blog or provide updates to my novel series. Please help me by recommending this blog to others and by "liking" my Facebook page.

If you enjoyed this article you can help by recommending it on Google by pressing the "g+1" button below...