A Guide to Emotional Intelligence and Greater Self-Control

Self-management describes our ability to use the awareness of our emotions to actively choose what we say and do, regardless of the circumstances. If you have ever found yourself reacting to your emotions before you have had enough time to process the actual information - as I have at times - this article is for you.

Brain 101...

It is largely believed the pathway of our thoughts first travel through the Limbic system of our brains and then onto the Neo Cortex. While the Limbic pathway serves to preserve memory, it is also a place where emotions are associated with virtually everything we are exposed to: images, scents, habits, behaviors, motivation, and, ah yes, words.

The Neo Cortex part of our brain is largely responsible for processing higher thought functions such as sensory perception, motor commands, spatial reasoning, conscious thought, and language. Our thoughts are processed through the Neo Cortex, but only after they are vetted by the Limbic system and associated with an assigned emotional attachment. It is for this very reason we "automatically" associate various things (people, circumstances, objects, words, images) with an emotional attachment. What is physiologically designed to "help" us to remember by association can trigger a response that may not always be appropriate. If that is the case, we must recognize it and catch it early enough to control it until we can consciously change the association. The good news is that we can indeed change it.

Awareness is Essential

We are hard-wired to experience emotions first, leaving us hardly any time to logically process them. If you think about it, our lives run primarily on the emotions we have learned to associate with virtually everything we encounter. This programming is largely responsible for the relationships we have, from our most intimate to our most political. It's no wonder the world is in such a state of flux. 

Self-management builds upon a foundational skill of self-awareness. Self-awareness is necessary because you can only choose how to actively respond to an emotion if you are aware of it. Awareness gives us a very slight but significant edge in beating emotion to the finish line of conclusion.

The Power to See...

There are subtle things you can do each and every day to influence what is happening just beneath the surface of your interactions with the people and the world around you. These subtleties can lead to a higher level of self-awareness that allow you to get out of your own way as you begin to see things as they are instead of how you've pre-programmed them to be.

When you understand your own emotions you begin to respond to them differently. You will begin seeing situations differently, allowing you to react differently to change. Relationships will change (improve) as you gain clarity through simple awareness.

Look, the sad fact is that most people are simply unaware of their emotions until after they have reacted. This leads only to discord, discontent, and regret. Why settle for that scenario when you can create a positive and productive alternative?

Don't be a victim of an emotional hijacking. Instead, be quick to recognize your emotions as something that is designed to create a pre-arranged mindset that may not always be accurate. Take a moment to breathe and recognize the signals of your emotions and then allow your logical, more rational mind to decide whether or not your emotions are painting an accurate picture of the scenario unfolding before you.

You can develop the ability to better recognize your emotions, allowing you to be more mindful of how they are influencing your behavior, now and into the future.  

  Until next time...
-G-


"Awareness is like the sun. When it shines upon things they are transformed."
                                   
~ Thich Nhat Hanh


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