You Are the Message

The amount of time it takes you to read this first sentence is all the time you have to make a first impression on someone new. Seven seconds. That's it. Time's up.

We formulate judgments and opinions of each other so fast that we rarely have time to think about the significance of our processing. Think about the last time you met someone new. How did you feel even before the other person uttered their first word? Was your initial intuition confirmed when they spoke to you or did you misjudge? Did they make eye contact with you as they approached? What did you think of their demeanor, their posture, their gestures, and the tone and delivery of their words? What judgments did you make based on their appearance? Did they "exude" a commanding presence or an unenviable timidity?

Whatever you may have been feeling as you spent those precious first seven seconds coming to your initial conclusion, something else was taking place at the very same time—You were also being analyzed.
 

Human interaction is an amazing concept of study. While most of us tend to see ourselves cast in a favorable light that others must surely see, we rarely consider the alternative perspective others really have of us. Why is that? One reason is simply based on the fact that we're so busy analyzing others that we fail to consider that we too are being analyzed. The other, more often overlooked reason is that every one of us have "hidden windows" or areas that we simply cannot see or are not yet aware of.

Based on the psychological concept of the Johari Window, the theory uses the Johari House, with four windows leading to corresponding rooms. Each room metaphorically represents a part of who we are with respect to our personality, mannerisms, and the interpersonal energy we convey to others as well as the level of awareness and insight we, and others, have upon each area.

Room 1 is that part of ourselves we see and others see.
Room 2 contains the elements that others see but we are not (yet) aware of.
Room 3 is the most mysterious room in that the subconscious part of us is seen by neither ourselves nor others.
Room 4 is our private space, which we know but keep hidden from others.

Knowing that you have areas you cannot see, for one reason or another, is significant in that you are unable to see yourself in the totality of how you are perceived by others. While you may consider yourself to be considerate and open-minded, others may see you as an arrogant know-it-all. This typically occurs when others detect a mismatch in your delivery and your words, for example. It therefore goes to show that we must continually take steps to discover the truth of who we are if we intend to project an accurate reflection of who (and how) we wish to be considered.

One of the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves is to seek, find, and apply truth in our life. Aligning ourselves with truth permits a better person to emerge from within. One of the best ways to accomplish this is through introspection—that is, being honest with ourselves about what we know and don't know. Pay careful attention to how others react when you're around. Confide in someone you can trust to give you an honest assessment of what they see that you cannot. Be careful not to overreact to the honesty of your trusted confidant and be prepared to accept the changes you must make. These changes will most likely lead to improvements you need to hear and will make it easier to cast a better impression upon yourself.

The impression you make upon others is an integral part of human interaction. The process of conveying an accurate impression is not merely limited to the words we select. While dialogue, tone and delivery are important, they are by no means the only aspects of communication that matter. We communicate with our entire being whether we care to admit it or not. We send signals or convey messages with every conceivable aspect of ourselves. Eye contact, gestures and mannerisms, posture, personal appearance—they are all considered in the amazingly fast seven-second analogy of an initial encounter.
Consider these aspects of human interaction as you look for ways to improve your chances of an accurate analysis (and a positive impression) by others when you meet for the first time:

• Optimism
• Eye Contact
• Comfort Level
• Active Listening
• Gestures
• Physical Space and Contact

These aspects are but a few of the elements that make a clear difference in how you are received, or subtlety rejected, in the First Seven Seconds. Think about the differences in the message you have been conveying against the message you wish to convey from this point forward. The time you spend making subtle changes may be worth the introspection.

Until next time!

-G-

                                                                                                                                          


Just released: KEY HORIZON the second novel in the G. Weston spy series.
Get your copy of my first novel Dream Operative.

Visit my website (www.gwestfal.com) or Amazon.com and order your copy of these exciting novels today!

If you'd like to receive a notification anytime I publish a new blog (currently about every two weeks), visit my Facebook page: G. Gary Westfal, Writer, Artist Educator

Once there, click on "Get Update via RSS" on the bottom left of the column. You'll be subscribed and will receive a notification anytime I publish a new blog or provide updates to my novel series. Please help me by recommending this blog to others and by "liking" my Facebook page.

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Your Circle of Influence

You've seen it written many times in this blog and may have even heard it countless times through other sources...

Our lives are largely determined by the choices we make.

Makes sense, right?

The fact that our decisions play such a pivotal role in shaping our lives isn't all that difficult of a concept to accept if you really think about it. But here's an often overlooked aspect to the power of choice that's just as instrumental in charting the course and construct of our lives...

The company we keep, or more aptly stated, the people with whom we decide to associate, can have a profound effect on the kind life we lead.

The people we (choose to) associate with have more of an influence on the direction and construct of our life than most of us realize or readily recognize. Associate or align yourself with the right person, group, or relationship and your life is positively influenced through challenge, commonality, encouragement, compassion and creativity. Make the wrong choice however, and just the opposite will inevitably occur. And make no mistake, we have the power of choice when it comes to whom we associate with...in other words, we choose our friends and relationships, they don't choose us.

The biggest reason most people choose to stay in bad relationships is because of fear. Face it, most of us absolutely despise even the thought of hurting someone's feelings. More often than not, we consciously choose to stay in a relationship or maintain a friendship out of fear than to muster the courage to move on, even if it knowingly sacrifices our desire for a happier, more meaningful life better suited to the ideals we envision or rightfully deserve.

When it comes to choosing positive relationships, we should keep the following points in mind:

Choose positive influencers - "As iron shapes iron, so one person sharpens another." (Proverbs 27:17) The right person or relationship builds upon the strengths you inherently possess. This type of relationship should sharpen you, encourage you, motivate you, and better you. It should be additive in value and should never be a source of frustration, fear, or consternation.

Choose compassionate people - Is your partner or friend a source you can rely on when you're psychologically, physically, or spiritually drained? Will they listen to you compassionately as they help you find the answers that inherently lie within you? Are they a source of positive energy and genuine joy? These kinds of relationships will do more to help you stay on track without derailing your desires to become all you can become.

Choose acceptance-minded people - The best relationships occur between people who allow each other to be "real" and accept each other for whom they are as well as whom they are yet to become. There's a lot to be said about the value of a friend who understands and accepts you, complete with your imperfections, when you need them most. "A real friend loves at all times." (Proverbs 17:17)

Choose centered people - Centered people are not "self-centered"; they are centered and well-grounded and confident with themselves. They are not in relationships to compete or compare. Centered people are honest and unselfish. They know how to communicate on a level that is both meaningful and influential. These people have earned your trust and respect and are able to help you through positive feedback and helpful guidance.

The best relationships should be ones that add value to your life and contain some or most of the above qualities. You have the power to define that. You have the power to remain in bad  relationships inasmuch as you do to escape them and establish better, more loving or meaningful ones. Don't allow fear to keep you tied to relationships that are counterproductive to living a successful, happy life.

The greatest power we possess is the power of choice. You have the power to shape your life through the choices you make and the relationships you keep.

Choose wisely.

Until next time!

-G-

"People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you will know exactly what to do." ~Michelle Ventor                 
                                                                                                                                                 


Just released: KEY HORIZON the second novel in the G. Weston spy series.
Get your copy of my first novel Dream Operative.

Visit my website (www.gwestfal.com) or Amazon.com and order your copy of these exciting novels today!

If you'd like to receive a notification anytime I publish a new blog (currently about every two weeks), visit my Facebook page: G. Gary Westfal, Writer, Artist Educator

Once there, click on "Get Update via RSS" on the bottom left of the column. You'll be subscribed and will receive a notification anytime I publish a new blog or provide updates to my novel series. Please help me by recommending this blog to others and by "liking" my Facebook page.

If you enjoyed this article you can help by recommending it on Google by pressing the "g+1" button below...

The Magic of Teamwork

Just about everywhere we look these days we see messages that promote the power of personal achievement, the significance of introspection, and the importance of empowerment. The fact that we're seeing more of these kinds of messages indicates a positive trend in the expansion of an awareness among the masses that attests to the significance of our potential. While these messages are absolute essentials in the advancement of ideals, initiatives, and endeavors, they form a unilateral framework for the achievement of those very ideals, initiatives, and endeavors. In other words, when it comes to the achievement of just about anything you can imagine it is rarely, if ever, the result of the act or idea of just one person.

The leading paragraph above speaks of society's advancement of the individual through intellect and personal awareness and places great emphasis on individual learning. Colleges drive home the point of individualism through messages and instructional methodologies that emphasize how much a person should know in order to achieve a scholastic degree or academic standing. We're consistently told to "be the best," "you can do anything..." etc. only to arrive into the real world where few are adequately equipped to function collaboratively. For some of us, this comes as a huge surprise as we suddenly realize that little, if anything, can be effectively realized without some kind of teamwork. For those few of us who were fortunate enough to be exposed to team sports and other civic groups, organizations, or memberships, we come better prepared...not fully prepared, but better prepared.

Teamwork is loosely defined as "work done by several associates or like-minded people, each doing their own part according to their strengths or expertise, each contributing a part of whom they are, consciously subordinating personal prominence, to the objective or entirety of the whole." Big breath...in other words, two or more people that work well with each other.

It is a fundamental truth that time and effort are leveraged when two or more people collaborate ideas, ideals, resources, and labor. A myriad of examples immediately come to mind ranging from two like-minded people seeking to create a business to a married couple looking for common ground upon which to build their dreams. The commonality among virtually any of these rests with an ability to build an effective team. At the heart of effective team building lie some fundamental truths that, if applied, will undoubtedly better equip your team for success.

Communication - An absolute essential element in any successful team, communication conveys vital information, discloses the objectives, and inspires. This process doesn't require lengthy diatribes and "death-by-power point" meetings or infer one-sided pronouncements and proclamations. Instead, effective communication should be issue-centric, informative, and support the sharing of essential elements and ideas that will promote the objectives of the team.

Respect - In order to experience the fullness of teamwork and the effective flow of communication, there must be mutual respect among the members. Whether your team is comprised of one other member aside from yourself (a business partner, friend, or a spouse) or is made up of several members, every member must respect the views of the others. Every member must feel as though they have relevance. Relevance supports commitment and loyalty, both of which reinforces a team's overall construct. However, respect is a bi-lateral concept whereby each member should be aware of and reactive to both the strengths and weaknesses of the team, hence the need for the team's existence in the first place. 

Decentralized personal focus - While each member is to be considered a vital part of the whole, the process of team collaboration should never become personal. As soon as it does, it becomes fragile and is in danger of failing. This fundamental truth ties back to the second truth of respect. Ideas and concepts can be scrutinized and analyzed but personalities should never take center stage. Remaining clearly focused on the objectives will always result in team cohesiveness, learning, maturity, and success. I've found that, no matter what the topic, a decentralized personal focus almost always yields positive results while avoiding the sting of personal targeting.  

Define the win - While the concept of teamwork typically will advance the objective, rarely will one member's ideas be fully adopted. More often than not, there will be both adoptions and concessions that will not always be agreed to by one or more members. Defining the win ties back to the first truth - communication. There must be an agreement among the members of the team on the definition of a "win." In other words, whether or not ideas or concepts are adopted or rejected must be subordinated to the overall aspect of progression in terms of moving closer to an objective - the win.

Who do you have on your team? Are you employing the sound principles and truths that will yield the best, most effective results? If not, maybe an adjustment is in order. Start with an open discussion and take it from there. The fact that you bring awareness to the team will begin to pay huge dividends from the start.

Until next time!

-G-

"Teamwork is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results." ~Andrew Carnegie                 
                                                                                                                                                 


Just released: KEY HORIZON the second novel in the G. Weston series.
Get your copy of my first novel Dream Operative.

Visit my website (www.gwestfal.com) or Amazon.com and order your copy of these exciting novels today!

If you'd like to receive a notification anytime I publish a new blog (currently about every two weeks), visit my Facebook page: G. Gary Westfal, Writer, Artist Educator

Once there, click on "Get Update via RSS" on the bottom left of the column. You'll be subscribed and will receive a notification anytime I publish a new blog or provide updates to my novel series. Please help me by recommending this blog to others and by "liking" my Facebook page.

If you enjoyed this article you can help by recommending it on Google by pressing the "g+1" button below...