Ten (Limiting) Stories We Tell Ourselves

1. I never succeed at anything.

2. It’s just the way I was raised.

3. I’m not happy because life isn’t fair.

4. I don’t ever make the right decisions in life.

5. I'm damaged goods; I've been through so much!

6. I’m too old. The course of my life is destined to be what it is.

7. I don’t have the talent or skills. Even if I try, I'll probably fail.

8. I'm not smart (talented, brave, handsome, pretty, or worthy…) 

9. It takes money to make money. And I don’t have that kind of money.

10. I can't change because it seems I always find a way to mess things up.

You don’t have to buy into the limiting stories you’ve been telling yourself. They may seem like facts, but they are actually just circumstances that have developed to support the narrative of your self-professed story. When you change the narrative of your story, an amazing thing begins to happen – you begin to change the very course of your life. And the circumstances have no choice but to follow the new narrative. 

As your circumstances change, so too does your perspective.  Your perspective drives your thoughts, beliefs, and actions. When your perspective changes, you develop a fresh new outlook that opens the door to all kinds of goodness to flow into your life. 

You have the power to release your stories whenever you decide you’re tired of believing them. You have the power to rewrite them at will. All you have to do is draw a line in the sand and start writing the narrative you desire and know you deserve.

Let’s devote a thought or two to just a couple of these limiting beliefs. As we do, I think you’ll begin to see two things emerge: 1. You are the author of your story and, 2. you have the power to edit that story any time you wish. 

1.  “I never succeed at anything.”

This statement reflects a closed mind that has accepted defeat. Success is defined as the slow and steady progress toward a worthy goal. It is not defined as the surface trappings of life we typically see in social media every day. Take a good look at all areas of your life and acknowledge the progress you are making. It’s there if you look for it. When you find it, you’ll see you are indeed succeeding at something. Claim that success and own it! Then, simply change the narrative of your story from “I never…” to “I am…”

2.  “It’s just the way I was raised.”

You are an individual capable of writing your own story. It’s true your family handbook was a strong influence in creating your fundamental beliefs, but there comes a time when you must carefully select what you wish to adopt from that influential source to develop your own story. Don’t ever think you must use this limiting statement to justify who you truly are. Listen closely and you will hear your own calling. Use what you hear as a brand-new foundation to write your own empowering story.

3.  “I’m not happy because life isn’t fair.”

As an author, I can tell you that the manner in which you frame a sentence or statement matters. Consider the above sentence in its current state. The sentiment is one of discontent and defeat. With a simple rearrangement of the words, we can change the entire dynamic to one that reflects the real truth. “Life isn’t fair, so I’m not happy.” Once we see the truth of the matter, we gain power over it and can actually do something about it. Guess what? Life isn’t fair. So, now that we know the truth, we gain insight into knowing our happiness should never be tied to the fact that life isn’t fair. 

4.  “I don’t ever make the right decisions in life.” 

This is a statement of absolution that is likely more reflective of a lack of self-confidence than a statement of fact. In other words, it’s an excuse and an exaggeration. Decision-making is part of our everyday lives that has consequences. Make the wrong dietary choice and you could gain too much weight, get sick, or even worse. Drive your car through a red traffic signal and it could have catastrophic consequences. If this kind of statement is part of your narrative, I would point out that you are likely not focusing on the right decisions you are making. Build your new narrative on the good choices you’re making and more of the same will follow. 

5.  “I’m damaged goods. I’ve been through so much.”

No one on this earth knows what you’ve been through in life quite like you. Your circumstances are unique and have no doubt shaped your beliefs and values. Therein lies the limit of your situation, however. To be clear, you are not alone in having “been through so much” in life. The difference between those who lean on this belief and those who don’t is quite amazing actually. There are two mindsets at play here. While one side embraces difficult circumstance as a Scarlett Letter they must bear because of the past, the other side refuses to accept the narrative in spite of past circumstance. You have a choice. You always have a choice. Just because someone rejected you or something went wrong in your life, does not mean you must edit your story to a self-deprecating narrative. Trust me, there is much more goodness in store for you if you will just believe that you deserve it. 

Interested in taking a deeper look at the next five on the list? Let me know by leaving a comment or reaching out to me directly. 

Until next time…

~ G ~

“Stories are the shortest distance between us and truth. So, when we understand and uncover these stories, we gain the opportunity to understand maybe we need a new story.” 
~ Chris Cade

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Overcome Limiting Beliefs

"I think, therefore I am." ~ Rene' Descartes

The above quote, from the French philosopher, mathematician and writer has stood the test of time and speaks to the power that our thoughts have in shaping our lives.

It's true our thoughts play a major role in shaping everything from the opinions we have of ourselves to the everyday decisions we make along the course of our lives. For if we limit those thoughts through fear then we affect the opportunities and experiences of life that are waiting for us.

If we could somehow get beyond the rational (and often limiting) thought processes that dominate our lives we would find that virtually anything is possible. But how do we do that?

One of the first things we have to do is shift our thinking away from the fact that failure is bad. "...for I have learned more about success from failure than I have from the victories I have savored." That's a quote by yours truly. When it comes to success, one of the biggest lessons in my life has been to accept failure or "setbacks" for what they are—learning opportunities. It's not common practice for me to seek failure but I have learned to embrace it for everything it offers in the way of knowing what not to do inasmuch as I have learned what to do. The experiences have allowed me to accelerate my life in so many areas in spite of the number of "setbacks" that I've had the pleasure of experiencing.

Our minds tend to draw false generalizations based on isolated or past unpleasant events or occurrences. It assigns meaning to each one of those events in such a way that leaves an indelible mental imprint of "experience" the likes of which drive our perceptions, and thus our decisions going forward. It is up to us how we frame those experiences and store them in our subconscious minds.

The beliefs you hold true will make up the fabric of your life's experience. What most of us have difficulty understanding is that the beliefs we have of the world are essentially made up of the subconscious decisions we have made that are principally defined from a conscious personal perspective. Despite the commonalities that "seem" to exist among us, it is safe to say each and every one of us has a slightly different perspective of reality. This reality is made up by our subconscious based upon the experiences of our lives and our conscious reaction to personal circumstances. The only reason any of our beliefs hold value is because we have decided or accepted that they are worthy of the value we assign to them.

Limiting beliefs prevent us from experiencing life at its fullest. Why then would any of us knowingly accept these thoughts? The short answer is that we wouldn't, but all too often we either accept it as an inherent part of our reality or we begin to believe it is a part of who we are personally.

Want to get past this? Then first accept the fact that you can change reality. That's right, reality is what you make of it. That may seem trite or overly simplistic but the fact remains that you decide your own reality. Remember, our reality is shaped by how we process our experiences. Begin by processing your experiences through the lens of a limitless filter. Open your eyes to new experiences with an attitude of expectation over limitation.

To change your perception of reality and the acceptance of limiting beliefs being a natural part of your life, begin by changing the way you identify with destructive thoughts. Stop allowing yourself to be defined by limiting beliefs. If you think you'll never be financially independent, you never will be. Think about how powerful a statement that is.

If limiting beliefs have the power to prevent you from experiencing the goodness of life then it only seems logical that the opposite holds true. Removing the limits from our beliefs can only serve to open the aperture of perspective and opportunity that awaits us. For if you believe you can in fact become financially independent then it is also true.

Whatever you think you know is most likely a figment of your limiting beliefs and overactive imagination. If there's one thing I've learned over the years is that things are seldom what they first appear to be. We tend to exaggerate and stress over situations and conditions that never materialize because of the presumptive conclusions we draw. Most times we're wrong.

What limiting thoughts have a hold of your life? Are you ready to look past them with the knowledge and awareness that you have the power to do just that?

In order to break the backs of limiting beliefs we must push past our assumptions and step forward with confidence knowing that whatever the situation presents, we can handle it. Processing thought is a good first step, but action must closely follow if our subconscious is to be convinced.

Once you begin eliminating limiting beliefs your life will take on a noticeable change. You will have an almost inexplicable basis of confidence, you will be less fearful, you will begin to see (literally and figuratively) more clearly, and you will begin to understand that you can achieve anything you desire. Happiness will become a new foundation of existence for you as you come to the realization that limiting thoughts have no place in your life.

Until next time!

-G-



We're proud to announce Gary's next book, set to be released this summer. FEAR is a Thief is the first in a self-empowerment series that is written to show people how to get past fear using five fundamental truths as a basis for understanding and taking action for a better life.

Also be sure to check out: KEY HORIZON, the second novel in the G. Weston spy series. This thriller is receiving rave reviews across the spectrum and has captivated a new following of "spy-fi" readers. 

Get your copy of Westfal's first novel Dream Operative.

Order your copy of these exciting novels today at Amazon.com.

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