It All Comes Down to You

Everything you hope to accomplish in life lies in wait for you to act. You are solely responsible for the quality, course, and construct of your life. Every choice you make—from the use of your time to the selection of your mate—makes a difference. So, if you’ve been blaming everything and everyone for your “circumstances,” that stops right here, right now.  

If you are not happy with your life, the only one who can change things is you. Change is one of the most difficult things for people to accept because change introduces a new unknown to our life. Most people are uncomfortable with the unknown because they are afraid of what it will ask of them. 

Unfortunately, most people view change as a threat or as something that will require some kind of sacrifice or payment. The fact is, they’re right. Change will require something from you, but it will always give you something in return. This simple but powerful truth is based on the Law of Reciprocity, which tells us that if we give something of ourselves, we will receive, often in overwhelming abundance, something in return.

“Growth is painful. Change is painful. 

But nothing is as painful as choosing to remain stuck where you are.”

I get it, life can sometimes suck. Been there, done that…far more than I care to admit. But even the worst of circumstance is lined with opportunity. It’s there if you look hard enough. Oh, and keep in mind that there is always someone else who is worse off than you. So, as my military warrior friends would often say… 

“Embrace the Suck”. 

In other words, look for the good in an otherwise less-than-desirable situation and you will always find it. More often than not, when you look back upon a difficult time you will see the lessons with clarity. You may even value those moments as some of the best growth periods of your life as well.

A Universal Truth: You will always get what you settle for. 

Attitude is everything when it comes to creating the kind of life you desire. No matter what happens to you or around you, you have a choice. You can choose to feel sorry for yourself, project discontent, cast blame, and settle for mediocrity or…you can decide, right here and now that you are the master of your life. Does this mean you’ll never go through anything difficult or uncomfortable? No, but your attitude is the difference-maker in the perspective you cultivate in life. 

The formula is simple: what you project is what you get. So, instead of accepting the circumstances of life, choose instead to poke your finger into the eye of defeat and declare “enough!”

If you’re ready to wake up and take responsibility for your own life, then declare today as that day you will begin to reprogram the thoughts, beliefs, and actions that will set you on a new course. 

Here are a few simple habits that will empower you to change your perspective and begin projecting the right attitude to create the kind of life you desire. 

Be Grateful.

Most people give so much power to their misery that they overlook the magnificence of what is right in front of them at any given moment. Be thankful for what you already have and watch the miracles unfold before you. Be grateful for the people in your life, the fact that you have shelter, the sights, sounds, and scents you get to experience. 

Something happens when you stop to appreciate the things that are right in front of you. Colors become more vivid, details become more prevalent, and love grows as you become more attuned to the subtle nuances of life. There is nothing more tragic than wishing you had said or done something well after the opportunity has come and gone. Turn off the damn TV and appreciate what the silence has to offer. You may, in fact, hear the sounds of love that have been trying to make their way to you through the voices of your children or significant other. 

Dream.

Every great achievement, advancement, or contribution began in the mind of someone. They dared to dream and to believe that their dream was possible. Take some time to yourself to contemplate the power of your innermost self. Use your creative imagination to remove the limits of the natural world. Wake up to the possibilities that are waiting specifically for you to experience. 

Your greatest breakthrough lies in wait for you to unlock through the power of your imagination. Take stock of your unique abilities and pursue that which you have been called to do. Do not leave this world without knowing the gift of you.

“Imagination is everything. 

It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.” ~ Albert Einstein

Change your mindset.

Be rich-minded. Rich-minded people don’t focus solely on money but on the richness of life. This mindset adds to the quality of life they get to experience. 

Far too many people think there is not enough to go around in the world. Theirs is a fear-based mindset. Their answers are based on insufficiency and lack—things they cannot see…things they fear. A poor person’s mindset selects security above love, safety before self-expression, and protection over possibility.

Rich-minded people understand that, with a little creativity, a willingness to be unconventional, and an open mind, they can indeed experience an abundant life. When you build your life with the right mindset, you will see opportunities most others simply cannot see. This is the fundamental difference between those who do and those who don’t and those who can and those who won't. 

Be intentional.

You’re creating the reality of your life at this very moment. But chances are you’re not being very intentional about the reality you’re creating. Reality is subjective. That is, it is highly personal. Once you realize the power behind that statement you will quickly realize the power you truly have to shape your life through the reality you create. Once you realize that you are indeed choosing whether or not to believe something, then you can choose to believe that you can do something about it.

Grow.

Challenge yourself to grow. Produce more ideas than you need for yourself so you can share your wisdom and insight with others. True wealth and happiness reside in the spirit of giving. Produce more than you need for yourself so you can begin blessing others, blessing your community, and enriching your life in the process.

A simple exercise…


Change begins with action, so I’ll leave you with this. Write down the beliefs you have about yourself. On one side, list the things that empower you and move you forward, the things that make you more confident, that give you the courage to move forward. On the other side, list the things that hold you back or move you away from your goals. Chances are, you will begin to see with clarity the power you truly have and you will be compelled to do something about it. After all, it all comes down to…you. 

Until next time...

- G -

"Real and lasting change always begins with you." ~ G. Westfal 

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Your Ultimate Guide to 

Setting and Achieving 

Every Goal You Can Imagine

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Coming Soon!

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333The Power of Equilibrium

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the balance of body, mind, and spirit."

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Dream Operative, 

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FEAR Is a Thief is on Amazon.com 
and is NOW AVAILABLE on Audible.com too! This inspiring book is the first in a self-empowerment series that was written to help people get past fear using five fundamental truths as a basis for understanding and taking action for a better life. 
Get your copy today at FEAR Is a Thief/Amazon.

Also be sure to check out: KEY HORIZON, the second novel in the G. Weston spy series. This thriller is receiving rave reviews across the spectrum and has captivated a new following of "spy-fi" readers. 

Order your copy of these exciting novels today at Amazon.com

Permission to Soar!

What is your wildest dream, your biggest goal, or the one thing you desire more than most anything else? As you watch the images of your dreams play out in your mind, be quick to grab hold of the way you feel. Don’t let go and give yourself permission to soar on the possibilities. Savor the way it makes you feel. Are you energized? You should be. Do you realize that you can “feel” this way any time you want?

If our dreams, goals, and aspirations make us feel so great then why aren’t we riding them more often? It’s time to conduct a quick assessment on where we are versus where we desire to be…or who we desire to become. Are you moving closer to your objectives? Some may answer “yes, but…” If your answer is the same or anything less, perhaps you’re not giving yourself permission to soar.

 

Think for a moment about the way you feel when your dreams are at the forefront of your mind. Our minds create an image that ignites passion which, in turn, stimulates a physical response that produces endorphins that bring about clarity and creativity. If you’re like me, the drive and passion are so intense during those moments that there’s nothing that can derail or prevent me from grabbing the next rung of the ladder to my objective, no matter what it takes. Something happens when the ideals of our dreams, goals, and desires line up with the mind, body, and spirit. That “something” is called synergy!

 

Synergy is the interaction of two or more substances, entities, or agents to produce an effect far greater than the sum of their distinctive parts. Simply put, synergy is power. It’s a power every one of us possesses. You can experience synergy anytime you wish. It’s true.

 

The source of synergy is imagination. Try this – go back to the opening paragraph and tap into the images that support your greatest desires. As soon as you “see” the images you begin the process of your own synergy. Now, rinse, lather, and repeat…and repeat…and repeat. It’s the way habits are formed. What better habit to form than one that’ll literally change the course of your life?

 

Synergy is limited only by our own ability to allow it to multiply. In other words, if we get out of our own way and open our minds to the fact that we can achieve anything we desire, our imaginations will be free to show us more than we can already imagine. It has been said that our subconscious cannot discern the difference between fact and fiction. By continually tapping into our imaginations we feed and convince our subconscious of the reality we desire. So why not have fun with this and convince it of where you want to go instead of where you are and who you wish to become rather than who you currently are? It’s the beginning of a path to greatness and is a law of nature that will work for any one of us.  

Until next time...
-G-

"You have the power to set the tone of your day through the choices you make and the thoughts that dominate your mind." 
~ G. Westfal

We're proud to announce Gary's next book, set to be released this summer. FEAR is a Thief is the first in a self-empowerment series that is written to help people get past fear using five fundamental truths as a basis for understanding and taking action for a better life.Also be sure to check out: KEY HORIZON, the second novel in the G. Weston spy series. This thriller is receiving rave reviews across the spectrum and has captivated a new following of "spy-fi" readers. 

Get your copy of Westfal's first novel Dream Operative.

Order your copy of these exciting novels today at Amazon.com.

For a comprehensive perspective on the diversity of Gary Westfal, please visit his website (www.gwestfal.com).
 
If you'd like to receive a notification anytime Gary publishes a new blog (currently about every two weeks), visit his Facebook page: G. Gary Westfal, Writer, Artist Educator.

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Your Circle of Influence

You've seen it written many times in this blog and may have even heard it countless times through other sources...

Our lives are largely determined by the choices we make.

Makes sense, right?

The fact that our decisions play such a pivotal role in shaping our lives isn't all that difficult of a concept to accept if you really think about it. But here's an often overlooked aspect to the power of choice that's just as instrumental in charting the course and construct of our lives...

The company we keep, or more aptly stated, the people with whom we decide to associate, can have a profound effect on the kind life we lead.

The people we (choose to) associate with have more of an influence on the direction and construct of our life than most of us realize or readily recognize. Associate or align yourself with the right person, group, or relationship and your life is positively influenced through challenge, commonality, encouragement, compassion and creativity. Make the wrong choice however, and just the opposite will inevitably occur. And make no mistake, we have the power of choice when it comes to whom we associate with...in other words, we choose our friends and relationships, they don't choose us.

The biggest reason most people choose to stay in bad relationships is because of fear. Face it, most of us absolutely despise even the thought of hurting someone's feelings. More often than not, we consciously choose to stay in a relationship or maintain a friendship out of fear than to muster the courage to move on, even if it knowingly sacrifices our desire for a happier, more meaningful life better suited to the ideals we envision or rightfully deserve.

When it comes to choosing positive relationships, we should keep the following points in mind:

Choose positive influencers - "As iron shapes iron, so one person sharpens another." (Proverbs 27:17) The right person or relationship builds upon the strengths you inherently possess. This type of relationship should sharpen you, encourage you, motivate you, and better you. It should be additive in value and should never be a source of frustration, fear, or consternation.

Choose compassionate people - Is your partner or friend a source you can rely on when you're psychologically, physically, or spiritually drained? Will they listen to you compassionately as they help you find the answers that inherently lie within you? Are they a source of positive energy and genuine joy? These kinds of relationships will do more to help you stay on track without derailing your desires to become all you can become.

Choose acceptance-minded people - The best relationships occur between people who allow each other to be "real" and accept each other for whom they are as well as whom they are yet to become. There's a lot to be said about the value of a friend who understands and accepts you, complete with your imperfections, when you need them most. "A real friend loves at all times." (Proverbs 17:17)

Choose centered people - Centered people are not "self-centered"; they are centered and well-grounded and confident with themselves. They are not in relationships to compete or compare. Centered people are honest and unselfish. They know how to communicate on a level that is both meaningful and influential. These people have earned your trust and respect and are able to help you through positive feedback and helpful guidance.

The best relationships should be ones that add value to your life and contain some or most of the above qualities. You have the power to define that. You have the power to remain in bad  relationships inasmuch as you do to escape them and establish better, more loving or meaningful ones. Don't allow fear to keep you tied to relationships that are counterproductive to living a successful, happy life.

The greatest power we possess is the power of choice. You have the power to shape your life through the choices you make and the relationships you keep.

Choose wisely.

Until next time!

-G-

"People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you will know exactly what to do." ~Michelle Ventor                 
                                                                                                                                                 


Just released: KEY HORIZON the second novel in the G. Weston spy series.
Get your copy of my first novel Dream Operative.

Visit my website (www.gwestfal.com) or Amazon.com and order your copy of these exciting novels today!

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The Difference Between Power and Leadersip

The Difference Between Power and Leadership...

As we climb the proverbial ladder of success, our influence among those we lead becomes an increasingly important aspect of how we develop as leaders, managers, and supervisors.   Because we have demonstrated the competency to obtain a promotion, an inherent institutional trust is placed in us to lead followers toward common goals or corporate mission objectives. 

Promotion is indicative of two things – the fact that we have demonstrated the academic or technical competency required for promotion, and the fact that we possess the potential for increased responsibility and leadership opportunities.  It’s that simple!  But it doesn’t end there.

Good leaders are broadly defined.  However, a common trait among all good leaders is their ability to develop loyal followers to effectively reach goals and corporate objectives.  Good leaders, therefore, possess a proportional blend of traits that project competence, confidence, drive, influence, and compassion. 

Every leader acquires a commensurate level of inherent power with each rise in promotion or position.  If used appropriately and in proper proportion, inherent power can be a very useful tool.  Use it indiscriminately, however, and it will inevitably lead to the erosion of loyalty, discontent among followers, and ultimately, to mission failure.  It is therefore unwise to use the inherent power of our position as a primary tool of influence on those whom we lead.

The term, power, is defined as the ability or capacity to perform or act effectively.  This definition captures the essence of how power can be used appropriately to produce a desired outcome.  Let’s face it, sometimes the power of position - inherent power - comes in handy if used with discretion and in proper proportion.  It should be considered primarily as an external means of influence and only as a last resort as an internal method.  It should never be used as a means of self-promotion, intimidation, or assertiveness, as this can result in resentment and subversion by those who will undoubtedly see through such facades. 

Most often, your inherent power will be enough of an influence to project itself without any self-assistance whatsoever.  Some make the fatal mistake of “helping” to project inherent power unnecessarily.  This method typically produces unfavorable results as it is seen as an overreach that casts just the opposite effect intended by the sender.  However, when inherent power is delicately blended with personal power, the results can produce amazing results that actually bring people together to form alliances and loyalties that enhance productivity, team dynamics, and achievement.

Personal power is easy to recognize.  Few have it, even fewer know how to effectively employ it.  But it can be learned.   Personal power is developed by the leader who knows how to strike a delicate blend of interpersonal skills and objective vision to effectively solicit willing acceptance among followers.  It becomes particularly important as organizational leadership has become more about collaboration and influence rather than command and control.  To be clear, there are times when inherent power must be used; particularly when the leadership style calls for it (new military recruits, emergencies, on the battlefield, etc.)  As for team or group dynamics however, its generally safe to say that inherent power should rarely, if ever be used as a primary means of leadership influence or goal achievement strategy. 

Among the types of personal power, expert power and referent power carry the most influence.  

Expert power skirts the edges of inherent power but doesn't quite fit neatly within the confines of that definition.  Expert power belongs to those who have demonstrated an expertise in an area where few, if anyone else on the team or in the organization, possess an aptitude or ability similar in scope, breadth, or depth.  They're generally respected for the knowledge they possess.  As they say, "Knowledge is Power!"  

Referent power is generated by a follower who has a high level of respect or admiration for an individual leader and can clearly identify with personality traits, vision, corporate methodology, or leadership style.  Loyalty among those who confer the referent personal power is typically very high.  

The lines that differentiate the principles of power and leadership often depend upon the type of power used in conjunction with varying leadership styles.  Some type of power is typically at work in most leadership and management situations.  The key point is to recognize it and effectively employ the blend that works best without subverting the mission or intended goal...or completely losing the buy-in and support of your team.  

Remember...leaders lead people!  Don't be the leader who wonders why the team just doesn't seem to work well together without taking the time to conduct a little self-analysis on how YOU are interacting within your group or how YOU are percieved by the team you lead.  A little insight can go a long way to make your life a lot easier!

Until next time!

- G -

“Success can always be achieved.  Whether the outcome is effective depends, in large part, on the methods used to get you there. ”

If you'd like to receive a notification anytime I publish a new blog (currently about every two weeks), visit my Facebook page: G. Gary Westfal, Author

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Be Yourself

Be yourself!  No regrets…

We’re often told that in order to achieve any level of success, we should follow proven formulas and logically established patterns.  Our dreams and aspirations are judged and categorized according to perceptions by those who are all-too-ready to offer advice, albeit with the best of intentions.  Typically, this advice comes from those closest to us – our parents, family, and friends.  So it goes that we’re often told how to be just like someone else in order to become an individual success.  Yet, rarely, if ever, do we hear the wise counsel of advice to just be ourselves, be different, or unique.   

I’m all for modeling when it comes to success.  After all, why re-invent the wheel or create a new process to pursuing success when proven paths already exist?  After all, the traditional routes will work and provide expected rewards.  And if that’s your desire, by all means, take the path and enjoy the journey!  That said however, there is some merit in being true to ourselves, setting aside fears, and embarking on a path of creativity, imagination and innovation.  There’s so much more satisfaction potential in that route…if you have the fortitude.  If you desire to experience a satisfaction and fulfillment few truly enjoy, reach deep and look for the true essence of your calling.  Trust me; you’ll know it when you discover it. 

Those who have discovered and acted upon their true calling or deep desires, understand it comes with an inherent personal responsibility.  Like most other things we’ve discussed in this forum, decisions must be made unilaterally with a complete understanding that no one else will care and feed for your passions like you will!  Therefore, once you make the discovery, it's incumbent upon YOU to nurture and guard your dreams and aspirations with everything you’ve got in order to see it to fruition.  As you most likely already know however, discouragement lurks around every corner and among every gesture of “good advice” to take the easy way out and follow the crowd.  After all, being different takes work, determination...fortitude.  The best way to defend yourself?

Be true to yourself.  Discover yourself.  Know yourself! 

In one of the college courses I teach, we speak about the elements of effective decision-making.  I use it to teach a decision-making process from a business perspective.  One of the best models I’ve discovered is the “OODA” Loop.  This model, originally designed by USAF Colonel John Boyd, serves as a benchmark concept originally applied to the combat operations process.  But it is a useful tool across a much wider spectrum and can be applied here as a self-analysis tool as well.  See if you can apply it as you think of how to identify and evaluate your circumstances with respect to your calling.

•  Observe
•  Orient
•  Decide
•  Act

Observe – One of the most basic, yet difficult, aspects of this process is to be still long enough to gather enough information about ourselves to be useful.  Oftentimes this requires us to quiet our minds, conduct an honest assessment of our situation, circumstances, surroundings and self-reliance capacity in order to form an overall realistic plan to achieve a desired outcome.  I mention self-reliance because this is all about your capacity and willingness to fulfill all of the steps in order to reach your goal and enjoy the fruits of your passion once you discover your innermost desires. 

A word of caution is in order here – be careful to discern the difference between a realistic discovery and fantasy.  This can sometimes be difficult to accomplish given the original blueprint of your “programming.”  Are you programmed for success?  If so, your mind will “show” you things quite easily and you'll tend to choose wisely.  If you’re not, you’re likely to be discouraged and easily give up when things get tough or obstacles present themselves.  Don’t worry though – most of us can be reprogrammed.  I’m living proof of that. 

Orient – Okay, so you think you have a pretty good idea of your circumstances, obstacles, and willingness to follow through.  Cool!  Now it’s time to orient yourself. 

A word-picture exercise may be in order here.  Draw a circle in the center of a blank page.  Put your name in the circle.  Now, choose a label that best describes your passion and place it right under your name.  I used “writer” for my label.  Yours may be actor, engineer, business owner, father, mother, volunteer, philanthropist, doctor, etc. 

Place all of the elements you require to reach your passions or calling in random circles outside your name.  Those that are easiest to reach or achieve should be placed closest.  Those that are more elusive should be placed a bit further away.  The same must be done with your known circumstances, distractions or obstacles.  Words that are appropriate for these circles are things like geography (long distance), money/funding, time, market, self-doubt, etc.  

Decide – Once you’ve oriented yourself and have collected the elements and obstacles of your circumstances, it’s time to decide on a plan of action.  This step is sometimes referred to as the roadmap step.  With any good plan we must first determine our current position (our circumstances or status) followed closely with an analysis of the obstacles we're likely to face along the way, and a clear plan to avoid or deal with those obstacles.  We must also ensure we have the necessary fuel it’ll take to drive on toward our destination (drive, motivation, fortitude, etc.). 

Act –Without action, a plan remains just that - a plan – good intentions in a dormant state.  This step of action is perhaps one of the most important and pivotal among all the elements.  Although action by itself will not guarantee success, without it, results will never materialize. 

One important element bearing inclusion with the action step is follow-through!  Make sure to stay on top of your game and be consistent in looking after your plan.  Educate yourself, defend your goal or objective, and feed your desire in order to maintain your momentum.  It's so easy to disrupt the flow of action...especially in the beginning.  Stay consistent and follow-through and you will realize your goal! 

Dare to be different…dare to be unique…dare to be yourself!  Doing so brings out the very best and stirs an emotion from deep within ourselves that is such an awesome experience!  It’s not about money.  It’s not about fame.  It’s something much more substantive.  It’s truly about recognizing our calling or desire and knowing we have the courage to act on a dream or an inspiration that will bring true happiness and fulfillment to the human spirit!  I encourage you to experience it.  You won't regret it.  

Until next time...

 - G -

"To be true to one's self is the essence of true happiness."  - G. Westfal - 

If you'd like to receive a notification anytime I publish a new blog (currently about every two weeks), visit my Facebook page: G. Gary Westfal, Author

Once there, click on "Get Update via RSS" on the bottom of the left column.  You'll be subscribed and will receive notification whenever I publish a new blog or provide updates to my novel Dream State.  And help me by recommending this blog to others and "liking" my FB page.

Please visit my All American Warriors! bog at: http://allamericanwarriors.blogspot.com/ 

Please visit my website: www.gwestfal.com